The Love That Caged Me… and the Love That Set Me Free

There’s a kind of love many of us grow up with.

A love that looks loyal on the outside…

but feels heavy on the inside.

A love that says:

“Stay quiet. Adjust. Don’t disappoint. Don’t upset. Don’t bring shame.”

A love we never question.

Because questioning it feels like betrayal.

That’s blind love.

And it silently shapes the way we choose partners.

The way we tolerate pain.

The way we shrink ourselves long after the original wound is forgotten.

Most women I meet in therapy carry some version of this.

I did too.

I kept choosing suffering over peace — not because I didn’t know better,

but because I was afraid of dishonouring the people I loved.

Blind love made me stay.

Blind love made me swallow my pain.

Blind love made me go back again and again… hoping things would “fix themselves.”

I cooked meals no one noticed.

I waited for smiles that never came.

I bent over backwards so everyone else could feel comfortable — while I slowly disappeared.

Life continued.

Kids happened.

And so did the slow, everyday ache of humiliation, loneliness, and disconnect.

Until one day, standing on the terrace of my apartment, my chest heavy with despair…

I reached the edge of my endurance.

My phone rang.

My sister’s voice broke through the fog.

And in that moment, the truth I had buried for years spilled out.

She said:

“You need help. Please go to therapy.”

That moment became the quiet turning point of my life.

Therapy didn’t give me a new life.

It gave me a new way of seeing the life I already had.

I stopped asking,

“Why is this happening to me?”

and started asking,

“What part of me believes I deserve this?”

I saw my broken pieces.

Not with shame.

But with compassion.

And something miraculous happened…

The blind love I had carried —

the one built on fear, duty, and guilt —

began transforming into conscious love.

Conscious love doesn’t say:

“Sacrifice yourself so others stay comfortable.”

Conscious love says:

“I will walk with truth, even if it shakes the familiar.”

“I will honour you, but I will not abandon myself for you.”

“My happiness is not a betrayal.”

From that place, I made choices I never thought I could.

I learned to stay without losing myself…

and leave without losing love.

The deepest guilt —

of disappointing my family —

softened into a new promise I made to myself:

“I choose myself.

I choose my happiness.

I choose to carve my place in this world—

by living with courage and truth.

And this is how I choose to honour all the bonds I love.”

Not by shrinking.

Not by suffering.

Not by blind love.

But by rising.

By conscious love.

By choosing myself.

And that is why I do this work.

Because I know what it means to live on both sides —

the side that breaks you…

and the side that rebuilds you.

If you are in that in-between place —

half breaking, half awakening —

I am here.

If you want to heal with me 1:1,

or hold transformative spaces for others through my training programs,

you can reach me directly at 7016500451.

You don’t have to walk blind anymore.

There is another way.

And it begins with choosing yourself — gently, courageously, consciously.