The nervous system2 min read
The ache behind not living in your own body
Trauma-Informed Therapist, Trainer & Coach
I see it all the time.
Before they speak.
Before they explain.
The small shift in their body
that says more than their words ever will.
Because most people don’t talk about their relationship with their body.
They avoid it.
Or they control it.
Two extremes.
Same wound.
Some stop moving completely.
Not out of laziness.
Out of fear.
“If I don’t try, you can’t judge me.”
“If you can’t see me, you can’t compare me.”
“If I stay quiet, I stay safe.”
They blend into the background.
Call it “not my thing.”
But the truth underneath is brutal:
“I’d rather disappear
than risk being seen.”
This isn’t comfort.
It’s self-protection.
A body used like a hiding place.
Others go the opposite way.
Every calorie tracked.
Every meal perfected.
Every workout non-negotiable.
Not discipline.
Not dedication.
Fear.
Shame.
Control.
The story below all that effort is the same:
“If I become perfect,
maybe I’ll be acceptable.”
They don’t care for their body.
They manage it.
As if worth is a project that needs constant supervision.
They look different.
They’re not.
Both are shaped by the same belief:
“Who I am is not enough.”
One hides.
One overperforms.
Both ache.
People ask me: “How do I know if I’ve crossed the line?”
Here’s the raw truth:
You’ve crossed it
when your body stops feeling like home
and starts feeling like a problem.
When movement becomes punishment.
When rest becomes guilt.
When eating becomes calculation.
When mirrors become verdicts.
When your worth feels tied to your shape.
When the body you have
never feels like the body you’re allowed to keep.
And the hardest truth:
When the love you once had
is dimmed by the eyes
you’ve learned to view yourself through.
This is the line.
Quiet.
Easy to miss.
Devastating when named.
This is not about fitness.
It never was.
This is about the private shame
that tells people they must become someone else
just to be accepted.
And the body absorbs the cost
long before the mind admits it.
If this feels close to your story, you know where to find me.
Written by
Sneha Maheshwri
Trauma-informed therapist and transformational coach. I work with inner child healing, intergenerational trauma, family constellation and womb work, and I train other practitioners in the 7W Integrative method. I did not come to this from a textbook. I came to it as someone who needed it.
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