Do I regret making certain choices?

Recently, someone who has seen my life very closely asked me—

“Sneha, do you regret

making certain choices?”

And for a moment… I just went quiet.

Because there was a time

this question would have hurt.

I had answers ready back then.

So many things I could have done differently.

So many places where I felt—

I should have known better.

Marrying early.

Not choosing myself.

Staying longer than I should have.

It all sat inside me

as regret.

Very clearly.

But when I look back now…

it doesn’t feel like that anymore.

And it’s not because life was easy.

Or because I’ve made peace in some perfect way.

It’s just that…

I don’t see my life only through those moments now.

I see how things unfolded.

How the same situations came back—

again and again—

till something in me was ready.

How I didn’t always listen.

How I wasn’t always ready.

And still…

I was not left alone in it.

This is the part

I couldn’t see then.

When I was in it—

it felt lonely.

Confusing.

At times… unbearable.

But today, when I look back slowly…

I can see how I was being carried.

Not in ways I recognised then.

But in ways that are difficult to ignore now.

The right people…

coming exactly when they were needed.

Things shifting…

just before it felt like I would break.

Doors closing…

that I was desperately trying to hold on to.

And something else opening—

without me even knowing what I was walking into.

And I don’t know when this changed in me…

maybe through the work,

maybe through His grace—

but now, when I look at my life,

I can see traces of His leela

everywhere.

Even in the parts

I once resisted the most.

And when it starts to feel like that—

regret doesn’t sit the same way.

Because then it’s not just

“my choices” anymore.

It’s something that was unfolding

through me…

even when I didn’t understand it.

And I don’t know

what your life looks like right now.

What parts you question.

What decisions still feel heavy.

But if you ever sit with it—

not to fix it,

not to justify it—

just to look…

will you only see

where you went wrong?

Or will you also begin to notice…

how something kept moving you…

even when you felt stuck?

Not loudly.

Not in ways you recognised then.

But quietly…

And maybe you’re not there yet.

Maybe it still hurts too much to see it like that.

That’s okay.

I wasn’t there either.

But when it begins to shift…

even a little—

your past doesn’t disappear.

It just…

stops feeling like something

that went against you.